In the beginning of my recovery, recovery cliches used to bounce around in my head to help me stay free from bingeing and purging… Keep it simple, Act yourself into right thinking, Progress not perfection, ODAT, etc. Throughout this process, I’ve had years when I go to OA meetings and years when I don’t. Nonetheless, the program sticks with me.
I always say that eating disorder recovery is a process of harm reduction. Rarely does one stop entirely. And even then, the mental obsession is still busy trying to suck you back into the insanity. So, my current struggle is that I eat exactly how I want all day, but after dinner and my snack I still want more. It isn’t that I’m hungry. I just always want more.
So, this week, something I learned in early recovery has been popping into my head… I might want more food, but that doesn’t mean I have to act on it. It is just a thought. I’m going to have ED thoughts as a recovering food addict. To expect anything less is to discount the power of this beast.
Anyway, it’s comforting to remember that I don’t have to act on my thoughts today. I have the ability to CHOOSE.